I think it's the Estrogen

Dilemma: I have no idea when Ella is sick or just trying to control me.

Evidence: Let's go back three weeks to an afternoon when Ella decided she wanted some applesauce. I told her she could get it herself because she had refused to eat any lunch when it was offered so I was not going to get her a snack. She cried and cried about how she didn't feel good and how she couldn't do it. She kept saying "I can't Mommy. I just can't!" We went the rounds for about 3 hours before she finally gave up.

After she ate her applesauce she begged to go to bed. It was like 5 so I thought that was pretty weird but I took her upstairs and she fell asleep while I was putting on her pjs. She woke up a few hours later and starting vomiting. So, I got that one wrong because she was really sick.

But while I have your attention let me bring up the fact that whenever it is time to go to school or church she insists that she is too sick to go. She will say that she has a cough or that her ribs hurt. I have tried forcing her, wrestling to get the boots and the coat on but that was unsuccessful because she took the boots off and through them at me. So, I have ended up putting her in her room until she decides to get ready to go. She is also under the threat that if she doesn't get ready she will have to stay in her room during all 3 hours of school. This has got her in gear each day and she ends up at school where her teachers report she seems very happy. So, all those times I was right. She was not really sick.

But then there was this morning. Where after arriving at school she said her tummy hurt and her nose hurt and she wanted to go home and go to bed. I talked it over with the teacher and I brought her home and immediately put her to bed where she was told she would be staying for 3 hours! Well..she fell right to sleep for over 3 hours. So, that time I was wrong. She really is rick.

And so I start to think, I am a bad parent. All this time I am punishing her for lying about being sick and she really is and I start to feel so bad for Ella but THEN....

I remember last week when she didn't feel good and her legs didn't work and she wanted me to get her goldfish to eat and I said I wouldn't and she ended up holding her hand over my mouth and saying "You get me my fish, NOW!" And after I put her in her room and told her "You can come out when you say you are sorry." She said "I am not gonna say I am sorry, you better say sorry to me!" She eventually said she was sorry but peed her pants because in her own words "I HAD to. My legs didn't work." And that time I was right, she wasn't sick.

And so I ask you...How do I know if she is really sick or trying to control me?

And by the way is it normal for a 3 (almost 4) year old to be this fascinated with control?